When someone asks me how wedding planning is going, and I begin my reply with the words “oh, we’re not…” I can usually see their face fall and their mind race as they assume the wedding’s off and they’ve asked a terribly awkward question. An expression of ‘Oh God how am I going to back away from this conversation quickly’ flashes across their eyes, as they look for the nearest exit.
Not so, my friends, not so.
We are taking a “pause” from wedding planning. And I will now tell you why.
Wedding planning sucks.
Arranging to view locations brought my fiancé and I to the brink of murdering each other. (I mean, he did turn up late for every single one, and on one occasion he completely missed the appointment and went to camp instead, but noone’s here to blame anyone for anything.) Even when we thought we’d selected one, we didn’t have $4000 to lay down as a deposit, no sir.
And who are we inviting, and why is it so many people? And what shall we do about chairs? And should we have fairy lights or not? (The answer to this one is yes, we should, and yes, I am going to continue to call them fairy lights, even though in Canada they’re not called fairy lights, SO THERE.)
As a child, I wanted to be a spy, I think, or a writer, or a zookeeper. I didn’t stare starry eyed at princess dresses and dream of dreamy weddings. If I can be so bold, I would liken my relationship with weddings to my relationship with mushrooms. As a kid I wasn’t interested in them in the slightest, but then, one day for no reason in particular, I decided they were the greatest thing. Those squishy fungi were my life! I must eat the most mushrooms possible. Mushroom overload! And then, at peak mushroom consumption, mushrooms and I were done. No more mushrooms for me, thank you kindly, keep them away, I’ve had enough.
And that is me and weddings now. Despite the fact I didn’t little more than pin stuff on Pinterest and see a few venues and a florist, weddings and I have fallen out, like mushrooms and I all those years ago.
I’m all wedding-ed out (though I’ve done next to nothing), so my “oh, we’re not…” ends with “…planning it any time soon.”
Maybe one day weddings and mushrooms and I will all reconcile, and we’ll have some wild porcini risotto at the reception, and a sautéed version at the brunch. For now, though, I am taking a break from both.