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Learning Canadian

A concise list of things I’ve learnt, or gotten wrong, since being in Canada:

  • A vest is a waistcoat and a tank top is a vest (though I also hang out with Australians, so a tank top is sometimes a singlet)
  • A viewing is for dead people, not apartments
  • Always remember when at a restaurant or a bar to add a tip, and close the menu when you know what you want
  • Arugula (rocket), baysil, cilantro (coriander), o-reg-eno, zucchini, eggplant
  • Don’t forget to add tax to everything you buy (if it’s 2 for $20, for example, the total isn’t $20, as I remembered after I’d questioned the girl in UrbanOutfitters. “They include tax in the price in Europe, don’t they?” says she)
  • Don’t say bit as in “I liked that bit of a film”, bits leads to bits and pieces which, I’m told, usually refers to genitalia 
  • Dressing is stuffing, not salad dressing, so having dressing with ribs is perfectly normal
  • Gherkins are called pickles (especially in Subway, where if you ask for just gherkins and olives, as I often do, the looks you receive will be blank)
  • Saying the time is half anything will confuse people (“half four? You mean it’s two?”)
  • Scheme has negative connotations whatever its use 
  • Store not shop, laundry not washing, groceries not shopping, mall not shopping centre, apartment not flat
  • There is no loo, it’s a washroom, or a restroom
  • There’s a $1.50 charge for taking money out from a bank your account isn’t with 
  • Tippex is called White-Out (hilarious joke; I took White-Out instead of Viagra last night and woke up with a massive correction)
  • When buying something, say debit or credit first so they know what you’re using
  • When people ask if you came to Canada to go to school (as, for me, they often do) they mean university 
  • You don’t get spots, you get zits, and the things that caused those zits were candies, not sweets
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    Pretty much, yea.
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    I’ve never heard of anyone referring to tank-tops as vests. I think whoever told you not to use “bit” because it could...
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    I would call this list Things I Had To Learn To Stop Saying When I Moved To England (Because Nobody Knew What The Fuck I...
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